


a changing of the seasons

by fatherofangst



Category: Boy Meets World, Girl Meets World
Genre: BUT I CANT, Ewcaya, F/F, F/M, My first fic, Rilaya, This is so angsty, and this is, help myself, im so sorry, rucas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-04 02:35:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10981569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fatherofangst/pseuds/fatherofangst
Summary: "you hear the tears in her voice, and you press your ear to her thigh and nuzzle your cheek on her sweatpants. 'he broke you.'(and she's going to put you together again.)"aka. lucas is a cheating asshole and ruins our sweet baby riles.lots of rilaya. minor rucas (or should i say, ewcas)





	a changing of the seasons

 

when your lips part, you feel odd.

 

you look into his green eyes and don't say anything.

 

because you never do.

 

;;

 

missy starts appearing more often.

 

pink and beautiful and everything you wish you could be.

 

her and lucas talk more often.

 

laughter filled and long conversations in the library and his eyes glitter. everything you wish your talks could be.

 

you see them from behind bookshelves and you try not to let maya see the pain in your eyes. 

 

(this is when you start to worry. but you don't say anything, because you never do.)

 

;;

 

it might just be that your hormone levels are high, due to the arrival of your dear aunt flow, that your laying amongst your sheets sobbing and sobbing.

 

things aren't the same. and you can't handle change all that well.

 

maybe your just paranoid. your cries lessen.

maybe you're right. your cries intensify.

 

;;

 

you wish you were missy.

 

you wish your hair wasn't so thick, and that you woke up beautiful.

 

_you wish you were beautiful._

 

you wish his kisses still tasted the same. 

but you can't ignore the strawberry lipgloss you pick up from his lips. 

or the minor pink marks on his collarbone that scream to you from across the school. 

or the scratch marks on his back.

 

you wish you were her.

 

(maya breaks into your bathroom before you break, and holds you when you do.)

 

;;

 

maya is the warm summer after a brutal winter.

 

you finally spill the concerns you've been having for months, she probably can't understand you as you tell the whole story with wobbly lips and hiccups, but she holds your hand and she cares.

 

and its enough.

 

;;

 

you don't have the courage to break up with him.

 

actually.

 

you just don't want to have to start over.

you thought you were happy. you thought he was your one.

you stop speaking. because thats just what you do now.

 

(hah. stupid.)

 

;;

 

you don't realize what she does to you.

 

how your heart flutters. or how your stomach and insides and soul do this _thing_ where you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. you don't know what to call it. but it feels good, and you find yourself addicted to it.

 

"he doesn't deserve you." she says one night, while watching bobs burgers. your head is in her lap and her fingers are tangled in your hair, that you impulsively cut to your shoulders during another bathroom breakdown.

 

you instantly know what she's talking about and the bracelet he gave you burns on your wrist.

 

"he shouldn't make you so _broken_. riley, he's hurt you."

 

you hear the tears in her voice, and you press your ear to her thigh and nuzzle your cheek on her sweatpants. 

"he broke you."

 

(and she's going to put you together again.)

 

;;

 

he makes you feel dirty.

not used.

 

he kisses you but theres no passion. 

he lays you down without any consideration. 

he takes your clothes off but it isn't gentle. 

he guts you with his fingers like he's scraping the inside of a cantaloupe clean. 

he makes love to you... but theres no love.

 

he lays down next to you a sweaty mess, and you feel like grime is crawling up your body and drowning you. 

you accidentally let a tear slip and wipe it before he can see.

 

"i have to go home." you say sitting up, covering yourself the best you can and wiping up the blood with the linen of your panties.

 

the world is dark, and his basketball lamp gives off an orange glow that makes you want to vomit.

 

"what why? we're not done."

 

you almost gasp. almost let it out and scream at the top of your lungs.

but instead you grimace putting on your boyfriend jeans and one of mayas sweaters. you take your phone stuffing it in your pocket.

 

"i don't care." you say it so silently it sounds like a whisper in a screaming crowd.

 

that screaming crowd being your head when you see missy's necklace on his dresser. 

silk pink panties that aren't yours poking out from underneath the bed. 

pink lipstick on his bedside table. 

a curly worded note on his desk "i can't wait to show you my new outfit tonight ;)" 

 

you leave with a pounding headache and you can barely breathe.

 

;;

 

she opens the door and the bitch actually looks surprised.

 

"riley?"

 

you wipe your tears again. (it seems like thats all your doing these days.)

 

"you know he wants to be a vet?"

 

she steps outside into the cold, closing the door behind her, wrapping her arms around herself.

 

"whats this about?"

 

"i thought i would have him forever. i would be mrs. riley friar." you looked her in the eyes.

"does he talk about me?"

 

"he-i-um-er.." she stuttered trying to find an answer 

 

you almost smirk. "i should hate you. and i really want to. you fucked up my relationship. you fucked up lucas. you fucked up my head, my life, you ruined everything."

"he'll do it again. just be prepared." you finished.

 

"maybe to you. but not to me- we're different riley. lucas wants someone mature, not someone, how do i put it nicely, inexperienced." she sneered.

 

you turned around and walked off her rich bitch street in flatiron district and the hour it took you to walk back to greenwich village didn't bother you at all.

 

;;

 

this time you knocked on her window.

 

she helps you inside and it takes her to look in your eyes when you start breaking even more.

 

she sits down in the red chair and you curl up in her lap, forehead pressed to her neck and your fist tangled with her shirt. 

your sobs echo through her house and you know katy and shawn have already told your parents your here.

 

"he's cheating. he's cheating. he's fucking cheating on me!" you cry out.

 

maya understands. you already knew this, but it hurts so much more when its confirmed. 

 

so she lets you cry and cradles you like your six not seventeen. she rocks you and she dips her head down an kisses your forehead occasionally, then presses them back to the top of your head.

 

your eyes becoming unbearably heavy and you practically faint from exhaustion.

 

;;

 

you open your eyes and find yourself in the same position. 

 

but the room is dark, and you watch the bunny grow on the wall.

 

(oh how you wish you could go back to your only fear being staying the night at mayas)

 

"hey honey." her voice is soft and sad and you feel her wet cheeks.

"you're crying." you comment, using the pad of your thumb to wipe away tears.

 

"i don't know-" she starts crying again. "i haven't been helping you."

 

"you have."

 

she smiles sadly. "i would never make you cry. i would give you a thousand kisses if i did."

you give her one. on the lips.

 

that _thing_ comes again. and you identify it as _love_.

 

;;

 

you walk in his room and he's laying on his back staring at the ceiling.

you put your hands on your hips because you don't have time for this.

 

"i'm breaking up with you." you say first.

a few seconds later he says "i've been cheating on you."

 

you laugh wickedly. 

he glances at you. "why are you laughing?"

 

"i'm not laughing because i think you're funny. i'm laughing because you're full of shit."

you grab his basketball as he throws it mid-air and send it hurling at the framed picture of you two smiling on his desk.

 

the frame flies across the room and you then throw the ball out the window, after all, you did buy it for him for his birthday.

 

you leave with no emotion besides closure. and that feels really good after 6 months of wondering.

 

;;

 

"i broke up with lucas." you say to maya. and it doesn't even hurt.

 

she looks up from her drawing eyes wide because last night it seemed like you were already broken... up. 

 

"i made it official- just show he knows."

 

she smiles and takes your hand.

"you are sunshine riles. and sometimes, sunshine can't reach the darkest parts of the world. but thats okay... its just how nature works."

 

this makes you cry. and she kisses your face a thousand times and you emit a thousand giggles.

 

;;

 

you learn not to wonder if you weren't enough.

 

you know that you were so enough.. he wasn't able to carry it.

 

;;

 

fin.

**Author's Note:**

> this is so angsty and yes thats a rupi kaur quote at the end i can't help myself.


End file.
